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Personal Change

Yesterday my neighbours T&D gave me a box of Alphonso mangoes which they acquired from Little India- Tekka Market ahead of India’s lockdown. Good thinking.

I was the lucky beneficiary as they know I like the lovely fragrance of Alphonso. But I declined saying I will only take one or two as they spoil easily. Not to be deterred, the resourceful T gave me suggestions of pressing them to juice, making lassi – Indian yogurt drink.

I decided that I shall cut one immediately. To my surprise, I realised that the firm Alphonsoes are already ripe. Unlike Thai mangoes which are sour when firm, Alphonsoes are sweet when ripe.

I have been keeping them past their shelf life, no wonder the previous box had to be thrown away.

Recently, someone, on hearing that I was taking another certification reflected. You dont need another course. Its time to just do it.

Why do we hoard? We hoard to store for a rainy day. Some items are perishable, and cannot be hoarded. They spoil or past their prime. We say No to chocolate cake. I dont like chocolate, its too heaty for my body. Extra calories with no enjoyment. I say no to alcahol and cigarettes. I say no to risky behaviour that I will regret at leisure. I say no to losing my temper.

I say yes to …

What am I saying yes to…

Do it. As Nike yells!

Now! My self-coach is yelling.

Now.

Thank you T & D for your message in the mangoes!

#mango #now #TIME #procrastinate #validate

Today, I read with great sadness of the passing of Prince Philip.

Not a British citizen, my source was the Wikipedia, instead of the BBC or the tabloids, which are more balanced accounts.

How could a man, used to commanding ships, known to drive his officers hard, accept being recognised mainly as a consort “amoeba”, supporter of his wife, ie working in her family business, as the royal family is known. His wife is the boss.

Yet, I am filled with admiration, that the most outstanding of all his duties, making speeches etc, the one I give him credit for was that of being a guide to his wife and his grandsons.

What his life taught me is, a title, being King, but a bad one is nothing to lust for. Being clear about your roles and not be offended by what tabloids claim, even untruthful comments that he interfered or gave people unwanted advice into their love lives. (He did not.)

Despite the hardships of his early life, how as a baby he was smuggled out of Greece in a fruitbox when his family was exiled due to the Greco-Turkish war. Being seperated from his family, (his mother was sent to an asylum), Prince Philip, by today’s definition, had a challenging childhood. Yet, I’m surprised at how he managed his “gremlins/shadows” rather than “meltdowns”. Perhaps it also speaks of the tolerance of Queen Elizabeth and her clear sense of duty.

He had a clear soldier’s mission. I surprised myself today by my admission that I would put Queen Elizabeth and the late Prince Philip in my list of heroes.

Steadfastness is a virtue I intend to cultivate. Carve your own role.

What’s a virtue you have, despite challenges?

I have been told that visualisation and relaxing is very important. To encourage more coaches and group facilitators to try, Ive posted my script here. If you can attribute my post as a source, feel free to use it. Share your experience in comments below. My inspiration was the book of Ezkiel 47.

Start to feel comfortable. Sit comfortably. Take a nice breath in, and as you exhale, feel the muscles on your face and jaw relax. Now let your breadth take you down to your legs, feet and toes. Check that there is nothing blocking, in front of you.

Picture yourself in a peaceful park. It can be somewhere you’ve been before or from your imagination. Picture yourself there. You feel the gentle sunshine on your face. You feel the calm of the space around you. You hear gentle running water. As you do so, you come to a river, with running fresh water. Its a beautiful crystal clear river.

(i) Ankle deep

You walk into the water. It is ankle deep. Feel the coolness of the water without getting wet. Refreshing. Now, take a deep breathe in and a deep breathe out. You feel the sunshine gently caressing your face, the wind enveloping you, a feeling of warmth/ kisses from the gentle sun. Calm space, gentle running water.

Something catches your toes. It is a pebble, it is smooth and oval shaped. The pebble represent stress or worry in your life. You place the stone in your hands and throw it back into the water. Notice how the pebble hits the water and creates a ripple effect. You let it go, and notice how the ripples become still. How does it feels like? Take a deep breathe in and a deep breathe out. Let the pebble and stress drop to the bottom of the river. You start to explore, and find your place.

(ii) Waist Deep

Take another step deeper into the water, you feel your feet firmly on the ground. The water is waist deep. Movement is more difficult. Take a deep breathe in and a deep breathe out. You notice your thoughts. Others have returned to the ankle depth level where there is more fun and freedom. You notice leaves on the water. You pin your thoughts on the leaves let them go. There are beautiful fishes in the water. You want to discover more. You struggle. As you struggle, your muscles become stronger like a butterfly’s wings trying to emerge from the chrysalis.

(iii) Over your head

You’re now one step deeper in the river. The water is over your head. “The water here is beyond your control – it’s all
around you. You don’t fight against it – you calmly go with the flow. Breathe in breathe out. You let go of the firm ground. You notice your thoughts coming and letting go. Where is the river taking me? You notice the beautiful fruit trees on the riverbank. Fishes in the clean river, colored stones at the bottom. The old has gone, and the new has come.

You are letting the river carry you to a new place, going with the flow. Notice your thoughts and letting go. Breathe in and breathe out. Place your right hand on your belly, feel it rise and fall. Feel your feet on the ground, and being present at this moment. You have arrived. Prepare to open your eyes at the sound of the bell. Breathe in, breathe out.

Check in:

  1. How was the visualisation experience?
  2. What are your thoughts? What did you discover?
  3. One thing that’s better today?

NB: What is this river? This river can be lovingkindness, peace, hope for a better future. Often we’re full of stress, anxiety about what we cannot control, given the negative news around us. Just like we need to resist the temptation to rescue a butterfly trying to emerge from a chrysalis, as its muscles get stronger in the struggle.

Go slow.

#river #visualisation #Ezkiel47 #script #coach #coaching

Im a hoarder. After being inspired by Netflix series: Marie Kondo, The Minimalists and Home edit, I decided to clear my closets.

Today I chanced upon a glass teapot I bought 4 mths ago and made myself a pot of lemongrass/screwpine tea.

And realised that in my cupboard, I had 24 different types of tea. The canisters of most were already rusty, so I cant give them away. But it was shocking that I could make myself a different cup each day. Yet, I drink Arabica coffee every morning, when I had so many choices in my home pantry.

Why am I not taking the pause to edit and enjoy the resources I have ?

Are there resources in your closet which you are not aware?

Yesterday, I saw a newsclip about an ebtreprenurial Singaporean male who sold off his SHN items. SHN stands for “stay home notice”, a word which many shudder during covid. It means you stay at home and cannot have contact with the outside world.

This guy had two SHNs, in total stayed home for 28 days.

What if this happened to me? How could I make the stay more comfortable? Or if I had to be isolated for 14 days in a small hotel room?

During covid, I discovered my greatest fear, introvert that I am, was “social rejection, loneliness and boredom”.

I used to play a game of “What if… I got stranded on an island, what 5 items will I bring with me”. I actually said my identity card. Less than three months later, I really lost my ID card with $400. Why I carry so much cash? Advice from my mom that during state of emergency, I cant go to the bank. Ironically she told me the same thing the night before #lockdown or what we know as #circuitbreaker. I forgot that we now have credit cards and Paynow.

Anyway, what would I bring?

1. Handphone and charger

2. My mask and beauty routine

3. Laptop and battery charger + yeti mike + earphones

4. Eye drops

5. Precept Bible + flags + TSW book

6. Blank journal + drawing stationery

7. Exercise mat + hoola hoop

8. Flask and tea bags

9. Cute Socks + sweater + mom’s bolster + blanket from brother + pajamas + clothes

10. Credit cards

With my hp and laptop, I can work and connect with anyone. I can pray, listen to sermons, worship etc. I can even go to church via my laptop, ie attend church service. :-))

I can follow exercise routines. I can even order anything I need and pay via internet. Rest is really luxury.

Seriously, time to begin minimalist lifestyle and focus on the important. Maybe even start a healthy diet.

What would you bring if you were under quarantine orders?

In a few hours, we will say goodbye to 2020, a bittersweet year for many of us.

From a state of shock to witnessing resilience and sacrifice in those around us.

1. How has 2020 changed your life?
2. What are the things you are grateful for?
3. Whats your plan for 2021?


Wishing you a better year of peace, good health and happiness in 2021. 😍💗🌹

You are a PEARL

Do you think your life is a series of random events which you have no control?

18 months ago, I embarked on a learning journey with 10 ladies Ive never met, facilitated by an amazing loving lady Catherine.

We were paired with peer coaches. However, as there were three outsiders, we were put together. E, A and me. Unfortunately, three of us couldnt match our schedule as A was always busy. This was before we knew ZOOM as an option. E dropped out and joined another group. A and I never had a chance to meet up. She had a successful online business marketing health products and volunteered to help other ladies with their home business.

Last weekend, we were informed that A passed away. She was 55 yrs old. May she rest in peace.

Her life direction statement was “To use my joy and healing gift to evangelize, to pray and heal, so that ladies who are broken hearted physically, emotionally and spiritually can be restored.”

Indeed. May she be restored to greater joy in the arms of her Maker. Last lesson from my former peer coach on the brevity of life and to focus on the essentials.

This week I learned of an activity on gratitude.

Mental subtraction – What is that one thing when taken away from you, will be dearly missed?

I can think of two areas. My family – Beloved. Peace in my beautiful country Singapore. I am grateful for my family and the leaders in my country.

My thoughts of lovingkindness (Psalms 63:3) and compassion towards them, that they will live out their Purpose in Lovingkindness.

Spiritual Gifts Survey – Copyright © LifeWay Christian Resources

http://ebcrochester.org/misc/php/LifeWaySpiritualGiftsSurvey.php

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01897/full

Do you find that 1hr just flew past and you were scrolling on social media sites/ newsworthy rabbitholes reading (almost anything aimlessly).

If you are like me, I was going site to site reading the same news about President Trump testing positive.

“Brainwash” by David Perlmutter, MD has quick tips to share, using TIME as a checklist.

Whether you are Social Media or TV bingeing, might I add (Korean soap operas), we need to take back the power to control our time usage and avoid tech addiction.

Time restricted – set a timer say 1hr or 10 min to accomplish your goal if you are doing online shopping to restrict the time spent. Tweak the timing until you arrive at one which you can comfortably honour.

Intentional – does it truly benefit you? Is it a good use of your time, be it to relax or do research.

Mindfulness – awareness of how you are using it and being conscious of the way it is making you feel. Incorporate pauses where you question the way you are using the tech and the way it is making you feel. Does it make you feel angry, envious or self conscious?

Enriching – is it a waste of time or helps you understand your world. Does it better you and make you feel more rested and optimistic or just distracted.

David Perlmutter has more advice on understanding our brain.

What do you think about his TIME checklist?


One of my coaching clients shared that he was very anxious but didnt know why. We have this conversation every week for past 6 months. Where he tells me he is anxious but not sure why.

His anxiety is not unexpected given the current economic conditions and the “departures” from his firm. Especially the conversations he is having with his bosses who are down-sizing.

The question is not WHY? His anxiety is natural, given the circumstances. It is HOW?

How can I improve my well being despite the circumstances?

% time spent in affirmative relationship
% time spent in flow, engagement activities
% time spent in meaningful activity
% time spent in positive emotions
% time spent in achievement

Source: Martin Seligman’s PERMA Model

Total : Anxiety level

Indeed he was catching up with well-meaning ex colleagues spending 3 hrs going through all the conspiracy theories over the weekend on power play. His fear level spiked.

How can I improve my well being despite the circumstances?